Barracuda Brigade's Top 10 Clues: You might be a Muslim if…..

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor. You may be a Muslim.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes. You may be a Muslim.

3. You have more wives than teeth. You may be a Muslim.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean. You may be a Muslim.

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide. You may be a Muslim.

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against. You may be a Muslim.

7. You consider TV dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing. You may be a Muslim.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs. You may be a Muslim.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four. You may be a Muslim.

10. Your cousin is President of the US. You may be a Muslim.