Oops He Did It Again: ‘Top Ten Rick Perry Excuses’ !!! LMAO

The night after a tough debate performance in Michigan, Texas Gov. Rick Perry appeared on "The Late Show" with David Letterman to laugh off some of the pain.

Read by the man himself, here are the "Top Ten Rick Perry Excuses:"

10. "Actually there were three reasons I messed up last night. One was the nerves, two was the headache and three was, and three, uh...uh...Oops."

9. "I don't know what you're talking about. I think things went well."

8. "Hey, I was up late last night watching `Dancing With the Stars.'"

7. "I thought the debate was tonight."

6. "Hey, listen. You try concentrating with Mitt Romney smiling at you. That is one handsome dude."

5. "Uh, El Niño?"

4. "I had a five-hour energy drink six hours before the debate."

3. "I really hoped to get on my favorite talk show, but instead I ended up here."

2. "Hey, I wanted to help take the heat off my buddy Herman Cain."

1. "I just learned Justin Bieber is my father."

Jihadist urges murder of US talk show host David Letterman !!!

The FBI has said it was taking a threat to kill US talk show host David Letterman seriously, after a militant appeared to call for the comedian's tongue to be cut out.

Letterman is known for razor-sharp wit on his Late Show programme

The Muslim extremist urged his American followers to assassinate Letterman after he made a joke about the death of a leading member of al Qaeda.

The Site Intelligence Group said a message posted on an extremist website translated as: "Cut the tongue of this lowly Jew and shut it forever".

This is despite the fact that Letterman is not Jewish.

On his late night talk show, the TV host drew his finger across his neck whilst talking about the death of senior al Qaeda figure Ilyas Kashmiri.

Site analyst Adam Raisman told Entertainment Weekly the website Shumukh as-Islam, where the message was posted, was "a clearing house for al Qaeda material".

Executives at broadcaster CBS and a spokesman for Letterman both declined to comment on the threat.

Tim Flannely, an FBI spokesman in New York, said the agency was looking into the matter.

"The FBI takes all threats seriously and we will run it down like we do all threats," he said.

This is not the first time Letterman has received a threat - in 2009 he was forced to admit on air that he had an affair, after a former employee attempted to blackmail him.

The creators of South Park were threatened by a Muslim group in 2010 after depicting the prophet Muhammad in a bear suit.

A 21-year-old man from Virginia was sentenced in February to 25 years in prison for publishing the home addresses of the South Park creators.